The Obligatory Lost Sermon

Taken from http://stuffchristianslike.net/2010/02/2314/#comment-78393

There are two things you have to preach on each Spring, Easter and the television show Lost. If you skip the second one, I understand, not every church puts such a high premium on television and the what not. If you skip the first one, I hope you don’t get stuck on a fold out couch bed in hell. You know the one, with that bar in the middle of your back that just angrily jabs at you all night like a three year old with a whiffle ball bat? I promise you, hell is lousy with those things.
But maybe you were unaware of the need to experience an obligatory Lost sermon. Maybe you didn’t even know that was an option. And with the show in its final season, you’re lost as it were with how to properly judge the quality of a Lost sermon. It’s almost as if you need a Lost sermon scorecard.
The Lost Sermon Scorecard
1. Your pastor preaches a sermon about Lost. = + 1 point
2. Your pastor preaches a 3-part sermon series about Lost. = +2 points
3. Your pastor wears a “Sawyer Wig” and makes you call his wife “Juliet” while muttering, “I just want to get off this dang island,” during his 3-part sermon series about Lost. = +5 points
4. The title of the sermon is “Lost … & Found.” = +2 points
5. The pastor hides clues to the sermon in the bulletin, much like Bryan Allain hid Lost clues in his Christmas card. = +6 points
6. The sermon centers on trying to find out which character represents Jesus. = +2 points
7. The sermon relates Ben to Judas. = +2 points
8. The sermon compares the island to hell. = +3 points
9. The sermon compares the island to heaven. = +5 points
10. The sermon compares the island to purgatory. = + shout out to the Catholic readers
11. The smoke monster is analyzed as possibly being the holy spirit. = + 2 points
12. The church tries to recreate the smoke monster using the youth group’s smoke machine. = +10 points
13. The smoke machine goes awry, setting off the sprinkler system, causing mass confusion and forcing at least one choir member to yell, “Oh the humanity!” = – 5 points
14. Your church is horribly out of touch and rolls out a series this month based on “The Matrix.” = – 5 points
15. The character Locke is compared to satan. = + 1 point
16. The infamous number sequence that occurs throughout the show is tied to Bible verses. = + 3 points
17. In a hat nod to season 1, a Grand Pyrenees dog is dressed up like a polar bear. = + 1 point
18. A zoo employee attends your church and gets an actual polar bear for the sermon. = +10 points
19. The loud sound of your worship music freaks the polar bear out and it mauls three deacons. = – 15 points
20. The pastor lays out a very compelling, reasonable theory about what happened to the character, “Walt.” = +100 points
21. The ushers collect the offering while dressed as “the others.” = +3 points
22. Your pastor inexplicably tries to combine the Lost sermon series with the ubiquitous “Braveheart” sermon, creating a pop culture train wreck. = – 10 points
23. The guy next to you during the sermon says, “I wish this church focused more on the Bible. I want to be fed!” = – 10 points
24. The hatch is compared to our hardened hearts before the Lord blew them up and put his love in them. = +5 points
25. Not a single reference is made to Chris Seay’s great book, “The Gospel According to Lost.” = – 10 points
26. During the sermon, the pastor gives away a bajillion spoilers and ruins the season for folks who watch it on DVD after it airs. = – 5 points
27. The Dharma group is called “the church of the island” at least once. = +3 points
28. Instead of covering Lost, your pastor does a series on the show, “Eli Stone,” which lasted approximately 6.4 episodes. = – 2 points
29. The parallel universe, where people are back home, is related to what happens when we lie to people and wear masks about who we really are. = +2 points
30. Jacob is compared to God. = +1 point
31. Each character on the show is related to one of the original disciples during the sermon. (e.g. Doubting Thomas is Hurley.) = + 3 points
32. The “others” are compared to an out of control, power hungry pastoral search committee. = +3 points
How did any sermon you’ve ever heard score?
Here’s the breakdown:
0-10 Points = Lost Fail.
Seriously, that sermon wasn’t about Lost, it was lost. You should be ashamed of your church and better hope your pastor never does a sermon series on 30 Rock or he might wreck that too. For shame.
11-25 Points = Lost Season Three
You’ve recovered your Mojo. You’re not season 2, which had the sophomore slump, but you’re not the powerhouse season 1 either. You should feel good though.
26+ = Daniel Faraday Territory
Your pastor is some sort of super genius. Seriously, well played sir, well played indeed.
Did I miss any Lost trivia on the scorecard?
Can you think of a different way we could tie that show into church?

Pics and Vid.

Well, this is it...my award winning picture of Mason. I took this picture before his Valentine's day party at his school. All the little kids in his class exchanged valentines and then the whole school had a sock hop dance. They told us to dress them in 50's attire but I think the tie is much cuter.

This is the result of a trip to Sam's club in Smithville: Mimi, Big Daddy, and Daddy just couldn't tell Mason "no" after he had mounted this giant bear. He was named (before purchase)

"Big Bobby"
Welcome to our family "Big Bobby Lackey."

A trip to the mall wouldn't be complete with out a merry-go-round ride.

Daddy doesn't share food...except with Mason.

And here are some videos from the last couple weeks. Enjoy...ADAM. :)

Ever have one of those days...

...Where you feel like you just can't get it together? Yes. Today was that day for me. Our friends from church, The McDaniels just had her second child a month ago. Baby Liam has had some problems with reflux and Diane is nursing, so she has committed to adjusting her diet to help with his fussiness. I wanted to make her a meal that she could eat because I know first hand how hard nursing is without having to change your diet. Since she is cutting out gluten, all dairy, and citrus, I decided to make her grilled chicken, roasted potatoes, and a fruit salad.

Problem #1: Something is wrong with our grill and the chicken did not turn out as expected. I didn't get home til 10:00 last night so today I picked up some Gluten free Chick-fil-a chargrilled chicken! Who doesn't love chick-fil-a? Problem solved!

Problem #2: I cut and seasoned the potatoes a weeee bit early so by the time they got to the McDaniel's, they were slightly soggy. I still brought the potatoes in hopes that cooking them at a high temp would crisp them up. I made some back up rice for them just in case.

Problem# 3: I brought Mason to Eric's office at 5:30 so he could feed him dinner and I could head over to The McDaniel's to bring them their completely "jacked up" meal. Eric took Mason out of the my car and we immediately smelled it. Oh yes..a very poopy diaper. No problem..just let me grab my bag and get a new ....Uh-oh.. I win the "mom of the year award" for NOT carrying diapers with me. So Eric had to carry his stinky child into Walgreens and purchase diapers and change Mason's bare butt in the front seat of the car in 20 degree weather. He was NOT happy with me.

And here's the best one of all.

Problem #4: Finally, I arrive at the McDaniel's in one piece, delivered the dinner, got to hold sweet Liam for a bit and headed back home. I finally got to my couch after a mentally and physically exhausting day and decided to read my email. In comes the sweetest email from Diane thanking me for the food...except that when they opened the chicken that I had neatly wrapped in tinfoil, they discovered Eric's nasty leftover tombstone pizza he ate for dinner last night. Poor McDaniel's- I promise we will make this up to you! (free babysitting one night perhaps?) And thank you for being so gracious to me for my incredibly foolish mistakes. I hope the next person bringing you food does a better job.

That's all folks. It's now time to rest my brain since it apparently needs it.

A Perfect Weekend

This year for V-day, Eric gave me the best gift I could imagine: A weekend alone. He took Mason up to the cabin for the entire weekend and I had the weekend free of any responsibilities. However, it was not a weekend of me relaxing on the couch with a package of oreos. I was on the go all weekend spending time with friends, throwing a baby shower, and shopping in Green Hills. I was so excited for Sunday morning to come because my plan was to sleep in as late as my internal clock would allow me and do whatever I wanted until 3:30 when I had booked my 1 hour massage at Woodhouse Day Spa. Eric surprised me and came home with Mason at 10:15am Sunday morning. (I was still asleep). Mason (aka: Eric) worked really hard on making me this beautiful valentine. I will cherish it forever!

We layed around all day and then I headed out for my hour of pampering. The best part about my massage (besides the obvious) was the tea they gave me after the massage. I don't even like tea and I ended up buying two boxes of it to take home with me. It's called Hot Cinnamon Sunset and it's so yummy.

Afterwards, I showered and met Eric at PF Changs for dinner. Since Mason has hit this lovely "terrible twos" stage we try to avoid the embarrassment of taking him to restaurants. It's just not worth it. My parents came over and put him to bed and we enjoyed an awesome dinner out ALONE! Thanks Gran and Poppa! Happy St. Valentine's Everyone.

February Fun

February has been a pretty eventful month compared to January. Today Mason had a playdate with Camden so I could have some girl time with Amy (Camden's mommy) and our good friend Kimm. Camden and Mason had a great time playing basketball, watching Boz, and eating popcorn. We even caught them snuggling during the movie. Camden looks like he could make a home in that chair.



Camden is not quite sure about Mason's hand placement.



Some days when you have too much to do around the house and haven't had a shower in 24 hours, you will do just about anything to get clean.

Last weekend we went to a Valentine's Day Dinner our church put on at the Embassy Suites. It was so fun getting dressed up, going out without our kids, and wearing heals.

That's all for now! Videos coming in the near future.

It's official:

Mason has hit his terrible two's. Prayers welcome.

It's Tuesday..Do you know what that means?

That's right.. Life on that island is about to resume and make millions of people so happy...or totally confused. Eric has requested a "special" meal to celebrate the premiere, which means I don't have to cook. Any suggestions for good take out?